Days

I have been told many times that in order for a marriage to last one must marry their best friend. Sadly for me polygamy has long since been outlawed and same sex marriage is currently in question.  Attempting to combine the two would get me a headlining story on the Today show and might just get me thrown in jail on top of that. If I lived in Britain I could just marry Jaron and then live with Austin and Chantry and nobody would bat an eye, but I do not live in Britain. I live in Utah. Highly religious, very set in its ways Utah. This means that I have to choose, make a choice as to which best friend I need with me the most. With no offence to Jaron or Austin, they are wonderful people and I love them, I would have to choose Chantry. Without Chantry I wouldn’t be alive today and I can’t imagine my life without her.

A little over a year ago my life fell apart in under a week. My boyfriend left me for a girl he had known for three days, I was failing four classes, and nobody cared about what happened to me. I wandered through my life without really living for nearly a month until Chantry saved me. It was one of the worst days that I had ever had to deal with on my own, nothing was going right. I missed my bus, forgot my wallet, and dropped my lunch on the floor; thus making it uneatable. After cleaning up the mess I had created by dripping pizza sauce on the floor and then dropping my whole slice on top of that I retreated to the bathroom to cry. My “friends” had been two feet away and hadn’t done a thing to help me clean up my mess; they simply glanced at me, turned their backs and snickered.  I was done with the whole idea of school. Why spend six hours a day, five days a week being forced to attend classes where I was taught nothing and made to do group projects with people who clearly hated me?  Sitting on the floor of that public bathroom quaking with the effort to suppress my tears, the only logical conclusion I could come to was to drop out and run away. As I lost the battle and my tears began their journey, my phone vibrated. Assuming that it was one of my “friends” who had witnessed my lunch tumble to the ground and was texting me to offer their “care and concern”, I pulled my phone from my pocket. The name and number on my phone was the last name and number I expected to see that day.

Chantry had noticed me. Honestly I am still not really sure how or when we exchanged numbers, I am very glad that we did though. Chantry is one of those people that you don’t really want to talk to because she is kind of scary looking. Her short hair is nearly always pulled back into a harsh bun and her newly added red streak draws attention. Her gauges, while not large, are noticeable, I think this is why her hair is always pulled up so severely. Chantry walks like she has a mission even when she is lost in a grocery store. But the first thing you notice about Chantry is her eyes, she has a gaze that will look into your soul and in thirty second or less she can tell you everything you are doing wrong in your life and how to fix it. All in all she’s not the type of person you would approach to ask for directions, but once you get to know her you never regret it. The day I made the choice to drop out and run, Chantry noticed me. To this day I don’t know why, or even when she did, I just know that she did. Of all the people who attend my school and watched me have a breakdown in the middle of the Haven, Chantry was the only one who reached out. She didn’t do anything grand; she simply sent me a text.  “You okay hun?” That’s all it said, three little words. Three little words that turned the course of my life, and honestly I don’t want to know where I would be without them.

What happened next, I really have no explanation for; I don’t understand why I did what I did. I don’t trust people by nature. People are stupid and loud and untrustworthy. I certainly do not trust people that I barely know and have only spoken to once or twice in my life.  So I have no idea why I responded to Chantry with “No, not really.” I cannot think of a good reason why I responded with the truth, why I trusted her.  It might have something to do with the fact that I was sitting on the floor of a public bathroom with tears running down my cheeks and snot dripping from my nose. Maybe this is one of those times in life that God sees fit to interfere with the lives of mere mortals. Whatever it was, and I am inclined to pick the first choice, I told Chantry the truth and that changed my life forever.

In under a year Chantry brought me from the sniveling teenage girl who avoided mirrors to the adult that defends the fact that she is going to major in English, whether or not anyone supports her in it. I changed from avoiding everyone to taking on the fly adventures and having flirting with people I didn’t know. One of our better planed adventures was our Ikea Day; it was about four months ago on the only Friday both Chantry and I had off.

Our day began promptly at eight a.m. as Chantry picked me up for breakfast and to discuss our schedule for the day. I literally mean schedule, Chantry had scheduled every minute of our day, from picking me up to extra wandering time. Chantry is kind of neurotic like that; she even made a spreadsheet type thing on her smart phone for us to follow. It is a little strange, but oddly endearing, she wanted to make sure I got to see everything I wanted and she was going to make sure that I had a good day. After our schedule review over waffles and crêpes, we headed off to our first stop, the Salt Lake City Public Library. It may seem odd but I have been obsessed with that building since the day it was completed. Chantry understood, nobody else ever had but Chantry got it. From there our day was filled with whatever caught our fancy. Comic shops, a thrift store, a café in the basement of a county government building, even a cool fountain I saw as we were driving by. Chantry stopped, found a place to park and took me back to play in the water. 

Nobody had ever understood me the way Chantry did and I don’t know that I will ever understand why she choose me. She could have been friends with nearly anyone she wanted; she has that ability to connect with people. What made her choose me? I asked her that very thing one day, one of those days where we were doing soul searching. Chantry looked at me, gave a little half smile and said “Because you’re different. I like it.” That was it. She didn’t explain. She didn’t expand. That was it and that was enough.

Those two little texts, both only three words long, were the beginning of a friendship that would withstand four different depression medications, two accidents, thousands of bus and car rides, and two of the most hectic schedules known to mankind.  If Chantry hadn’t taken notice of me that day I would have probably ended up dead shortly after. If Chantry hadn’t chosen to become my friend I would have never gotten the help that I so badly needed. If, if, if so much of our lives depend upon that tiny little word, if. So IF I had to choose only one friend to have with me for the rest of my life, I would choose Chantry, because without her I would have no life to spend with any one.