King Arthur

and slowly but surely they watched as everything was taken away from their beloved King. His knights, his trust in the world, his one true love. And thus came about the fall of Camelot and all were unable or unwilling to prevent the fall of the King who united an entire nation.

Ever feel like King Arthur when he finds out about Gewn and Lancelot?

That pretty much discribes my week.

Free Time

In college they have this policy where you get to make your own schedule, so you can plan your classes around work or family or whatever. This is a great thing if you are a full time college student, but I am not and it leaves me with something very very dangerous, free time. 

 

As an early college student I still have high school classes that I am required to take. This results in me planning half of my classes and my high school councilor planning the other half of it. Needless to say my councilor and I do not see eye to eye. She thinks I need time to study, I think I need two art credits in order to graduate. Guess who won that battle, that's right she did and now I nothing to do from 10:20 until 1:10 every other day and I still need two art credits. How does that seem like a good idea? 

 

Would you like to know what I do with my free time? I do this. I post on my blog and Facebook, I send emails and watch videos on You Tube. This is a great use of my free time, I guess, heck what do I know I am only a sixteen year old who is taking five college classes and doing Youth Court and Youth City Council and being an active member of my church's youth program. But please, tell me whats best for me, I just love it when others boss me around. 

 

P.S yes, I am having a less than happy week.

Public Speaking

Yes, I am in my public speaking class right now.
No, I am not paying attention to this speaker.
Yes, I should be working on my criminal justice paper.
No, I am not going to do that right now.
Yes, it was a bad idea to have this class in a computer lab.
No, I don't want you to move the class.
Yes, I do feel this is a waste of time.
No, I don't plan on dropping out.

What They Made Me

    Everybody knows the story behind Wolverine, you know the X-Man. They covered his bones in metal to make him nearly unbreakable. He didn’t like what they had done, but all in all it really didn’t do that much harm to him either. His life continued in much the same way it always had, so long as he never got taken to the hospital. I wish my story had such a happy ending.

    I was never really all that, um, normal. From birth my parents were pretty sure there was something different. I mean they named me Franswa who does that unless they know that you are going to end up a freak, I only wish they hadn’t been so afraid. I wore gloves everywhere, they told everybody that I had very delicate sink. That the slightest thing would give me a rash, they were lying. The truth is that with one touch from me, the smallest contact with my skin would cause your bones to begin to melt. They would liquefy and seep out of your pores. You could try and fight, but the same touch that would end your life would also ensure that you didn’t mind too much. Maybe that you even enjoyed it. I lived with this my whole life, from birth clear up until now, seventeen years later. When I was younger I used to dream of becoming like superman, you know like on “Smallville” that show about Clark Kent growing up as a farm boy. I used to think that I was like him, that one day I would be able to use this strange power of mine for good. I know better now, now I can never be anything more than what they made me. A monster.

    Despite all of that my life didn’t get really strange until about eight months ago, that’s when they began to show up. I am not really sure who they are, but they certainly know who I am and more importantly what I am. They first showed up at school and I really didn’t think much of it. They looked like any other state people here to see where the funds had been used and how much more they could take from the inner city kids. Typical yearly cut backs nothing for me to worry about, I didn’t take any art classes or music ones either, they could cut anything they wanted to and I wouldn’t care. But then they showed up at my house, the same men, I guess they thought I wouldn’t notice. They said they were inspectors for our landlord. That the apartment building had just been sold and new management wanted everything inspected. They never did inspect any of the other apartments.

    I was already suspicious, but everything came to a head when my parents sided with them. I don’t know what they told Mom and Pop, something about them being able to fix me or other such nonsense. But there they were one day when I came home from school, Mom had already packed my bags, and Pops helped them chain me to the car. Neither of them cried or even waved as they took me away. We drove for hours, I’m not really sure where we ended up I slept for most of the ride, but when we got there that’s when the real horror started. They began testing, on me, on my DNA, on my skin, even on my bones. I don’t know what they found out and I don’t think I want to know, the tests hurt enough. I really don’t want to know what it told them.

    After the tests came the injections, these hurt even worse. I don’t know what was in the injections, some sort of concoction they created to make whatever my power was stronger. Pretty soon my appetite dropped, I didn’t want to eat anything and what I did eat I threw back up. Then came the day they tried to spoon feed me, they tied me down and forced the food down. The man who was feeding me made the mistake of touching my face with his bare hand, I felt better instantly. That was the first man I ever killed. Whatever was in those shots had made this curse so strong that all it took was one touch, no more than a minute long, and all the bones in them moved to me. The bones didn’t just liquefy and seep out pores now, now they seeped into me. Now it’s the only thing that can keep me satisfied. 

    They didn’t lock me in that night and when I got out there was no one else in the compound. They had seen the monster they created and they wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I ran all night long that first night and most of the next day as well. I don’t know where I was trying to go, just away from that place, away from the awful place. Now I keep away from towns for fear that I might hurt someone. I sedate my hunger on animals, but they never really fill me up. I try not to hurt anyone, but the pull is getting stronger. Someday my control will falter and more people will die. The death count will rise, that poor worker, dear old Pop, loving Mother, all gone. Soon others will join them.

Mel's Dinner

    Jaspart Benwa was the man that every girl in the office wanted, every girl that is except for me. The man walked around as if he owned the world, as if all women should just lie down at his feet and let him have his way. The sad part is that all the women seem to agree with him, they just let him do whatever he wants and he is NEVER punished! I do not appreciate this; this makes me feel as if I am some sort of freak.

    But I don’t need to worry about any of this, I have a secret weapon. I am dating a man, a nice man, a man who cares about my feelings, a real man who can accept the fact that I am the strong independent type. His name is part4966, ok so I haven’t actually met him and we are dating online, but he really is that amazing. At least I have some sort of a relationship unlike Mr. Benwa, the man never tied to a woman for more than a night. In truth I have almost accepted dinner offers from Mr. Benwa just to see what all the fuss is about, but as always my logic won out over my emotions and I have yet to accept an offer. Mr. Benwa; however, has not taken the hint and continues to ask on a daily basis.

    “Good morning Katilyn. How are you this fine Monday morning?” Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

    Eyes darting, footsteps racing, I answer, “Fine, Mr. Benwa. And how are you?”

    “Good, but I would be better if you would call me Jaspart, Mrs. Nix,” he says blocking my path.

    Glaring holes in his pretty little head, huffing my breaths in and out, and grinding my teeth in anger I respond, “Jaspart it is then. Now would you kindly get out of my way Jaspart?” I shove my way past him and enter my office, leaving Jaspart, stammering and shocked, alone in the hallway.

    Head shaking in confusion, hand waving erratically, I take a deep breath to calm myself. After relaxing I nearly skip to my computer to logon to the dating site. Please let him be on, please let him be on, good he is!

    part4966: Hey! How are you? :)!
    lynix94: Better now. I had a run in with that guy again. :(

    part4966: The one from your office?
    lynix94: Yeah that’s the one. Oh how I wish he would just transfer or something.
part4966: Sorry:(! That’s no good. Well if it makes you feel any better I had to deal with this lady from my office today.
lynix94: The one who can’t take a hint?
part4966: Yeah that’s the one…..he he that is kind of funny :)

lynix94: What is?
part4966: That we both had early morning run ins with the people we like least in our offices.
lynix94: Ha ha yeah that is funny. :)

part4966: So how about we celebrate? Will you meet me for lunch?
lynix94: …….How is this something to celebrate?
part4966: I don’t know……… I just want to meet you. I want to put a face to the person I feel like I know so well.

Heart pounding and head fuzzy, I stop to think it over. I really want to meet this man, but what if he is just saying that for, well you know. Would I be able to handle it if that’s all he wanted? It has been I long time since that has happened to me, and I have to admit I want it too. But can I handle nothing more than that? Coming to a decision I type:

lynix94: Okay, let’s do it. Meet me at Mel’s Dinner on Fifth at 2.
part4966: Perfect I will see you there. I will sit in the blue booth.

With those parting words I log off and finally get to work. I have four hours to fill before I can leave. I won’t get much done during any of it, but will fill the time that’s for sure. 

At 1:30 I leave my office and head to the restroom to check one last time and make sure that I am presentable. I spend so much time studying my look and second guessing myself that I don’t leave the office until 2:15. Praying that he didn’t leave, or worse stand me up, I rush through traffic to Mel’s.

    I walk in and search for the blue booth. There it is where it has always been in the back corner of the diner. There is a man sitting at the booth, a tallish man, a handsome man, or at least the back of his head is. I walk slowly over to him and slid into the seat across from him without looking up.

Then slowly and carefully I look up into the eyes of the man that I have been dreaming of for the past four months.

“Benwa?!”
“Nix?!”

as we die

high on the haunches of this war machine
the enterprising man can succeed
but
the struggle for peace strips me of my faith

even the grass speaks
of the depressing state of things

only the realist holds to the fight
but
the stiffness of the dry ground
 punishes us for our hope

everything fades to fog
each man alone in this place

we brought this trailing sea
 of joy and hope
but
as we die everything
comes undone

One versus One Hundred

Zai Luran common foot solider number 1-7849, this is who I am. The first of my kind, a commoner raised by the noblemen’s tutors and trainers. Abandoned on the door step of Sir Travin’s Home for Aspiring Knights, I was taken in to quell an uprising of the common folk against the king and nobles, it worked. They promised that others would follow, that there would be a new social class made up of men like me, commoners raised like knights. But seventeen years later I am still the only one, Zai Luran in a sea of Sir Charmaine, Sir Henry, and Sir Alexander. Then the day came that it all changed, the day of the test.

The test is a simple thing one man versus one hundred soldiers, not knights just common foot soldiers but there is one hundred of them. The goal is to last longer than the other team through any means necessary, many great men have died during this deadly game of the nobles. For it truly is just a game to them, they watch it happen in plush seats with wine and hot food, the lives lost mean nothing to them; after all they are just common soldiers. Only once has a noble been killed in this game and the commoner who committed the act was accused of murder and put to death. That was the first time that a man was put to death without a fair trial. But the nobles have added a challenge to my game, they got bored with the same old thing every week; I have to outlast without killing any of the one hundred men who will fight against me. Never in the three thousand years of Vastva history has this ever happened before.

From the ground I can’t see the arena that surrounds me, but I know that they all see me. My picture fills the hover screen high above my head; the whole event will be documented by the hover cam floating near my face for later review. The monotony of “Zai Luran vs. the hundred”, being repeated over and over again, was finally broken by the starting bell. I send a prayer to Willhelm, guardian of tactical maneuvers, and then I’m off running for my life.

The first twenty men are easy to capture, tossing rocks from my perches in the trees I lure them right into my most obvious snares. The next forty or so are a little smarter, or perhaps it is just harder now that it is getting dark, but they too stumble into my carefully laid plans. Most of the rest follow in much the same manner with more tossed rocks and rustled bushes, it‘s so easy that I nearly fall asleep and out of the tree, this would have given away my game as nobody had looked up yet. But then I was shot by one of the last three players and I lost my perch anyway, I scrambled up and sprinted down the nearest path. As I ran I heard more gunshots ahead, rounding the corner I saw the other two players shooting at each other, the path took me between them and straight to one of my more carefully concealed traps. The two who had been shooting each other turned to chase me and as I jumped into the nearest tree they collided with my net which hoisted them into the air. Ninety-nine down only one more to go.

The last man took much more time and nearly a quart of my own blood. A trail of blood led to and over one last trap, my most impressive by far I have to say. A pit with microscopic ropes crisscrossing it, the dark and a few leaves make it nearly impossible to see. Leading him down the path towards it I use the trees to swing up over the pit and to the other side, he rounded the corner and saw me standing in the middle of the path apparently out of breath. He walked right into the pit and was wrapped up in the net laying at the bottom, I had won.

The next morning it was announced, one of the men had died, I had failed. They said it was the last man I caught, they said he was strangled by the ropes of the net. But, I know that man lived. I cut him out of the net myself and left the arena with him, he was alive when I went home. They killed that man so that a commoner would not be knighted, so that the balance would stay the same, the thought makes me sick.

Zai Luran common foot soldier number 1-7849, this is who I am, this is who they have made me. But the time is coming that they will lose all their power, when they will become common. They trained me as a knight, they raised me as a knight, they tell me to fight as a foot soldier, but they forget that I think as a tactician. I see what no one else sees, I hear what no one else hears and what I see and hear is social unrest in all of the common folk. So what I do is bide my time, I wait it out, I persuade people to speak out, I speak out myself on occasion. One day all my time and work will pay off and I will get my revenge.

I Worry...

Sometimes I worry that I’ll move to the end of the world, That chickens will attack I worry that duct tape wont stick, That I’ll never be able to unpack Sometimes I worry that I’ll lose a book, That I’ll forget my name. I worry that I’ll fail the 7th grade, Or that I’ll never get to play a game. Sometimes I worry my family will leave me, That my computer will talk back. I worry that fish will grow legs and take over the world. I worry that the sky will fall, I’ll get lost in amaze and won’t get out, And the freaky nerd boy will ask me out on a date. The thing I worry most about is that I’ll run out of things to Worry about

I Don't Understand

I don’t understand Why politicians go bad Why people start wars Why famous people think they have it so hard But most of all Why anyone swears Why people go hungry Why the world sees it one way and we all agree Why most of us turn our heads and pretend not to see What I do understand is Why people care Why the times must change Why all good things must come to an end Why a solider gives his life for his nation

Ambition

All ties to human kind severed Hope for the future lost Nothing left to be treasured One bridge left to be crossed Hope for the future lost Your ambition took you too far One bridge left to be crossed Just because you wanted that new car Your ambition took you too far Lost sight of what really matters Just because you wanted that new car Any love for others shattered Lost sight of what really matters Nothing left to be treasured Any love for others shattered All ties to human kind broken