Tomorrow can take care of itself.

Today is one of the days that I am just happy to be alive. I have no idea why, nor do I really have any reason to feel like this. I just am. What a wonderful thought that is! I just am! No requirements, no expectations, no push to be something more than what I am. I can just be me, I don't have to make anyone else happy I don't need to finish anything, I don't have anybody waiting on me. That is such a freeing thing to know. Honestly I don't want tomorrow to come. Tomorrow comes with stress, pain, tests, expectations, and people. Oh how I wish tomorrow didn't have to come, but alas time shall travel on with or without my consent. So I shan't think of tomorrow, I shall dwell upon the happier thoughts and feelings of today. Tomorrow can take care of itself.

Two Steps

I took two steps

Two steps towards the sun

Two steps towards my future

Two step before I begin to run

Two steps and I'm running

Two steps and I'm free

Two steps away from bondage

Two steps and you fall behind

Two steps and you pass from my mind

Two steps and there's no more horror

Two steps and there's no more pain

Two steps and I write my story

Two steps and I choose my fate

Two steps and I'm finally alone

I took two steps

Only Gotten Worse

Still feeling like King Aurthur. In fact it has only gotten worse, this time I play the part and pushed Gwen and Lancelot together.

Just like the King in times of old I pushed them to get along so well that I shoved them right into one each others arms.

Now I am just waiting for the fall of Camelot. What a crappy thing to have to wait for.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am sorry to inform you, but the word Hello has died. And along with it good manners and common courtesy.

Please let us all have a moment of silence in remembrance of these dead and buried traits that used to be alive and strong and taught to every and all. Now please have a moment of silence and while you are silent please read my list of things that have died.

Respect for others
Calling an adult Mr. or Mrs/Miss until other wise told so
Self respect
Thank you
You are welcome
Holding the door open for someone
Opening the door for a date
Carrying books/bags for a girl
Helping someone to their car with their items
SMILING AT STRANGERS
Saying Hello to people
COVERING UP YOUR BODY IN PUBLIC
Keeping things to yourself when they will hurt others
Shaking hands
Looking someone in the eye when you talk to them
Please
I LOVE YOU ACTUALLY MEANING SOMETHING
White lies
Caring about others Feelings
Supporting others, even when you know they are wrong
Following orders
Writing REAL letters
Chivalry

That's all I can think of at the moment, but I am sure that you have others. If so please just comment and I will add them in.

Thank you for your moment of silence.

Deepest Regards,

Ashlie Mae

Dear American Public,

I know that you are all excited for the holiday season to begin and for people to go out and spend millions on objects they don't need that will likely break or fall into disuse with in a month of the gift giving. But I would like to remind you of this teeny tiny thing, really it is very small thing, it is called Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is more than just the day before Black Friday. It is more than just a day to stuff our faces to the point of puking and have a parade that costs more than most cars. Thanksgiving is one whole day where we get to spend time with family and just be grateful for one another and the things that we have, all of the things that we have.

Every year Thanksgiving is over looked and shoved to the back of our minds while Christmas gets bigger and more over priced. This is a wrong that needs to be righted, I herd Christmas music the day after Halloween this year. That is just silly.

So please remember Thanksgiving, and KEEP THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC AWAY UNTIL AFTER THANKSGIVING, AT LEAST!!

This is getting silly,

Ashlie Mae

To Whom It May Concern,

I like it when people tell me things that I already know. Like that I my hair cut, or that I am wearing a knee brace, or that I am blunt. I just love it, I don't know how I would go through the day if people didn't point out what is right in front of my face. I think that I would get lost had have severe mental break downs if I didn't have these people around to help guide me through my day. All would be lost if we didn't have people in our lives to help guide us through daily lives and help us to do the same things that we do every single day. We need these people to keep us from getting lost on our way to classes that we have everyday and assist us in preforming tasks that we have done on our own thousands of times in the past. So please stop abusing the dumb people, I need them to make fun of.

Thank You for Your Support,

Ashlie Mae

It's Too Bright In Here

It's too bright in here
can't you dim the lights
can't you turn them down just a little
I can't bear what they make me see
can't stand to see the horrors
can't stand to see the fears
I don't want to see the blood
as it stains my hands red
I don't want to see the tears
as they drip from others faces
I can't see my sins
layed out bare before the Lord
It's too bright in here
can't you dim the lights

Tests, Teachers, and Time Wasted

How is it fair that my grade, my feature education, my scholarship, the possibility of me getting the job I want depends entirely on your mood when you grade my paper? How is that a fair and impartial grading system?

I mean NEWS FLASH people my last name is MCCONKIE my paper will never be graded when the teacher is in a good mood, it is impossible. I am right in the middle of the alphabet, right at that point where they have graded almost a hundred essays already but just before the point where they stop for the night. In other words when they are in the worst mood possible. I cannot win in this system it is a total impossibility.

We hear teachers complain about the amount of time they spend grading and correcting our papers and tests almost on a daily basis. Well not to be rude or anything, but um YOU MAKE THE TESTS and ah IT IS YOUR CLASS! You wouldn't have to spend all that time reading and correcting things if you didn't assign them. I know it is a crazy idea but it is true, if you don't assign it then we will not do it. Heck sometimes even if you do assign it we still wont do it.

So please to save us all a lot of wasted time please just stop assigning meaningless essays and papers that you don't want to read. We don't want to write them any more than you want to grade them, and honestly most of what we write in those things are either lies or what you want to hear. We almost never really put our own thoughts out there, why would we? You don't want to hear us debate with the things you told us or make grand leaps in knowledge, you want to hear how smart you are and how much you know. So that's what we tell you, we memorize facts and spit them back at you almost word for word what you told us.

Save the wasted time, don't assign pointless papers.

Dear Self Helpers,

Look people just because that self help book, or twelve step program or whatever, helped you doesn't mean it will help ME! Stop using the crap that they throw at you in those things to anlyze what is wrong with me, I am not some case study, you can't just try out everything you learn on me. I know that I am sad or angry or both I don't need you to tell me that I am or why I feel that way. This is my life, let me live it, let me make my own mistakes. You can't live my life for me, no matter how much you may want to, so please stop trying to. If I want to take Thi-Chi for gym then I will, if I want to study four minutes before the exam then I will. Don't assume that you know what I need or want or see or hear or like or hate or think. I, AND ONLY I, AM ME, YOU ARE NOT ME! So please for my own sainity please stop trying to control me. Thanks!

Much Love,

Ashlie Mae

I'm Addicted

My head is aching 

I don't want to be here

He is so close but I can't reach him

He isn't mine

I don't think he knows how much that hurts

He doesn't even know how hard it is not to take his hand when he walks me to class

He doesn't know how much it hurts when he forgets to hug me

I don't know why I keep him so close

It just hurts me 

I hate having him close and not being able to talk to him

I can't stand not having him around

I don't know what to do about it anymore

I don't know how to tell him whats going on inside of me

I hate his phone

It gets more attention then I do

I am jealous of his phone

Is this really what my life has come to

This isn't healthy 

I need to stop

...

I can't live without him

It's official

I'm addicted